


Heart of fire, house of fire

by rndm_bway_reference_grl_heere



Series: DEH and BMC crap short fics [10]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Fire, Hair Pulling, I hate it, I'm Sorry, It's kind of Self-Harm, M/M, Michael in the Bathroom, Squip's a bish, Suicidal Thoughts, This is literally the fight scene but Jeremy actually thinks afterwards, This was an idea, Trigger Warnings, fight, if u know what i mean, not the sexy kind, smoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-10-23 19:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17689271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rndm_bway_reference_grl_heere/pseuds/rndm_bway_reference_grl_heere
Summary: "Wh-What did you say?! Michael, come out, please!" he didn't care how pathetic he sounded, he wanted Michael out.He heard a crashing noise from upstairs, then screams. The glow around the corner had grown in size, now revealing actual flames. The smoke was too much standing up, so Jeremy slid onto his knees. He was on the verge of tears, he didn't want to die. He didn't want Michael to die, either."You just treated him like you did." The SQUIP mumbled.Jeremy choked out a sob. "Michael, please." There were tears running down his face, and his throat ached tremendously. He knocked on the door again, suddenly weak. He tried the doorknob again, still locked.---Michael in the bathroom. Also featuring our guest star, "Rich's Fire" (where's a gal gotta go to find the "trademarked" symbol??). (It goes from Jeremy's sort of third-person POV then it switches to Michael's)





	1. Fires Are Scary

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bored, I'm sad, quite lonely, and this is what happens when I'm all three at once apparently. Enjoy!

"Get out of my way,  **loser**."

Without a second thought, Jeremy pushed past Michael and out the door. His heart was beating out of his chest, both in anger and in guilt. 

_What the fuck did I just do?!_

He gripped at his hair in clumps, sliding down the bathroom door until he was curled up slightly into a ball. He was shaking, he noticed, and he was also on the verge of tears. 

He just called his friend a loser.

No, not his friend.

His  _best friend._

Someone who he definitely trusted his life with. His best friend of  _12 years_. He just called Michael a loser. Something he never thought he would do. Something he hadn't even dreamed of doing in the first place.

He thought it would be so hard to call Michael anything other than amazing. Or buddy. Or best bro. Or anything else that meant best friend or favorite person. He thought it would sting to even think about calling him that. That he would be burned alive from the pure guilt that surrounded him for even contemplating it.

And yet, here he was.

Not even a minute ago had he just called the person he had most loved in this world... A loser. It just slid out of his mouth so easily. He had thrown him away like he was nothing. Yelled at him, accused him of being jealous, pushed him aside. 

_Why did I do that?_

He gripped his hair harder, choking back sobs. He knew he looked pathetic, he also knew he deserved it. What he needed to do now, was apologize.

It took Jeremy a few minutes to actually stand up. He was still shaking as he got up to face the bathroom door. He sniffed, halfheartedly fixed his hair, and brought his hand up to knock.

**"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Jeremy."**

_Leave me the fuck alone, asshole._

He knocked four times, no answer. 

**"We need to leave, right now."**

_I'm going to apologize to Michael first._

He knocked again, still no answer. He hears the running of the sink.

**"No point. He already hate you anyways."**

_But --_

He knocks one more time, a little desperate.

**"We need to leave. Now."**

No answer.

_Wh- Why?_

**"Because --"**

"FIRE! FIRE!"

Jeremy snapped his head quickly towards the shouting. He could start to see a a faint orange glow coming around the hall. There was screaming and coughing. Smoke poured through the hallways.

_Oh._

**"Yeah. Now hurry up, there's a window you can make it out of right around the corner."**

Jeremy nodded, finally getting to his senses and starting to make his way around the corner. The smoke had made it's way towards the hallway he had previously been in, and the orange glow seemed to be following him as well.

He made it to the corner, his exit through the window in sight. He paused.

"MICHAEL!" He shouted, sprinting towards the door and knocking on it fiercely. "MICHAEL! WE NEED TO LEAVE! OPEN THE DOOR!" The last time he was in there he was sure there were no windows, or else he would've crawled out. Jeremy tried the doorknob, to no avail. It was still locked. He tried knocking again, banging his fist so hard against the door his knuckles would have bruises later. 

"MICHAEL THERE'S A FIRE! YOU NEED TO GET OUT!" His voice was hoarse and scratchy, he could feel the smoke start to fill up his lungs. There didn't seem to be any life in the bathroom, it seemed that Michael had left. 

**"Yes, he left, Jeremy. Now we have approximately ten minutes before you die of smoke inhalation. Let's go."**

He paused. Maybe Michael did leave. But when? He had to be sure.

"Michael, if you're in there, you  _need_ to get out.  _Please_." He leaned his head hopelessly on the door, scared he might've just done this for nothing. 

Then, as he was about to leave, he heard a muffled voice on the other side. In an instant, Jeremy was banging on the door again, desperate.

"Wh-What did you say?! Michael, come out,  _please_!" he didn't care how pathetic he sounded, he wanted Michael out.

He heard a crashing noise from upstairs, then screams. The glow around the corner had grown in size, now revealing actual flames. The smoke was too much standing up, so Jeremy slid onto his knees. He was on the verge of tears, he didn't want to die. He didn't want Michael to die, either. 

**"You just treated him like you did."**

Jeremy choked out a sob. " _Michael, please_." There were tears running down his face, and his throat ached tremendously. He knocked on the door again, suddenly weak. He tried the doorknob again, still locked.

The heat increased, and the smoke burned his lungs. Michael needed to get out already, whether he hated Jeremy or not.

\---

"Get out of my way,  **loser**."

Michael was... speechless. He never would've expected those words to be spoken by Jeremy. His best friend. his player two. His... favorite person.

Well, actually. This could've been predictable. Jeremy starts to ignore Michael, not try to contact him, not speak to him, not even acknowledge his existence for... what? A month?

So, yeah. Michael not only could've, but  _should've_ seen this coming from like, a mile away. Yet, that didn't mean it hurt any less.

The look in Jeremy's eyes as he brushed past Michael was terrifying. A look Michael had never seen before. It sent a shiver down Michael's spine at how scary he looked. 

Michael didn't say anything. There was nothing to say.

What  _do_ you say when your best and only friend of 12 years says you're a loser? What do you do when they just push you aside like you were nothing? Like 12 years of friendship meant absolutely nothing to them?

Nothing. 

And that's exactly what Michael did. 

Instead, he sat down in shock on the edge of the bathtub. He rubbed his eyes roughly, trying his best to keep it together. He ruffled his hair, then tugged on it. He tugged hard on it until there was pain. Something he hadn't done in a while.

He pulled harder, until his head seared with pain, and tears were already spilling out. He was sobbing, heavy tears running down his face and neck. His eyes stung, his throat burned. He was dizzy, and everything seemed to be caving in on him. He felt like he was nothing. He didn't matter to anyone. Nobody had shown any sight of care in the world to him.

He pondered death.

What would it be like to die? He figured it would be better than this. At this point,  _anything_ would be better than this. He'd rather have Jeremy back, they wouldn't even have to be friends. Michael would've enjoyed him from afar. He would've enjoyed dealing with his stupid-ass unrequited love for the damn guy everyday if he had to.

_Anything but this._

Maybe if he could just stop existing. Prevent his own birth. Or just... die. It's not like anyone would care. Nobody would even notice his absence.

He hoped that everything that had just happened was a bad dream. Jeremy never actually got a Squip, he didn't abandon Michael, and things were the exact same way as before. 

He got up, rubbing his eyes forcefully as if that would make the tears stop. He ripped his glasses off his face and set them on the counter roughly. He turned on the sink, feeling the cold water rush onto his shaking hands. Taking handfuls of water, he splashed himself in the face with it. rubbing his face once more, he put his glasses back on neatly.

Looking into the mirror, he saw that nothing had changed.

His eyes were puffy. His hair was a mess. His glasses were slightly cracked. His face was still red, and tear tracks still stained his mocha skin.

And, he was officially friendless.

Turns out, having mental breakdowns and splashing water into your face doesn't make the reality go away.

He sighed, placing his hands on the counter top. He stared down at the gathering of water in the sink below him absentmindedly. It took him a while to realize that there was someone knocking on the door.

Instead of actually going to see who was knocking, he opened the cabinet underneath the sink. After a few moments of digging, he'd finally found a razor blade. It was so tempting to just, open the package. To just slice his arms open and bleed out and just...  _die_. 

Then, a yell of his name. More frantic knocking, then another yell.

He sighed again, stuffing it underneath the sink. 

_Not here. It'd get too messy._

More yelling. It was slightly muffled, and the knocking was blocking out some of it, but Michael could make out the words, and who was yelling them pretty clearly.

"MICHAEL!" More knocking, "MICHAEL! WE NEED TO LEAVE! OPEN THE DOOR!" The voice was unmistakably Jeremy's, yelling at him to get out.

Michael froze, as he didn't know what to do. He just kind of... stood there. Sure, he wanted to go out, tell Jeremy to stop yelling at him, but he couldn't. He didn't think he could ever face Jeremy again. It didn't seem like Jeremy wanted to see him again either anyways.

He walked towards the door, and hesitated. He wanted to go out, but he didn't want to at the same time. So instead he leaned against the door as he curled up at the base.

"MICHAEL THERE'S A FIRE! YOU NEED TO GET OUT!" Jeremy's loud yelling made him jump.

Huh. Fire.

Jeremy wanted him to get out. He was half-tempted to. Also, there was a possible threat of fire, too.

But... no. Jeremy had just made it very clear that he didn't care about Michael, so why would he care if he was in a fire?

"Go away!" He sorta-kinda yelled into his arms. He was starting to tear up again.

The harsh knocking didn't let up, nor did the yelling. Michael didn't bother to listen, though. It was most likely just a prank made up by Jeremy and his new friends so they could embarrass him. Instead, all the yells turned into muffled noises as his head lulled to the side, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks.

He stayed like that, crying for a few moments. The knocking had stopped, and Jeremy must have given up. Probably thought he was such a loser that he wasn't even worth one of their stupid pranks.

_Figures._

"Wh-What did you say?! Michael, come out,  _please_!" He heard more knocking. Jeremy sounded desperate.

Jeremy didn't leave after all. Michael heard some more knocks, this time they seemed to be more weak.

Michael sighed. He supposed he'd put up with this one more time. He got up, and turned the doorknob, hesitant to open it once more. He rubbed his eyes once more, then took a shaky breath.

He opened the door and Jeremy fell against the floor, a loud thud. He was coughing immensely, and he looked to be crying. Michael looked out the door and was met with flames covering the ceiling of the hallway in front of him, and smoke rolling into the bathroom. 

Michael tried to take a deep breath to try to comprehend what was going on, but the smoke burned his lungs. He knelt down and touched the smaller boy on the ground, who was coughing harshly as he was curled up.

"J-Jeremy!" Was all Michael could stutter out at the moment. He rushed to help him, soon feeling his eyes burn with the smoke surrounding them. Quickly, Michael made sure that Jeremy was alive, then picked him up. "O-Okay... Uhh... Exit, exit, exit, exit, exit..."

He didn't care about whether or not he wanted to die at the moment. He just knew that he desperately wanted Jeremy to live.

Just then, another loud crash was heard upstairs, then more piercing screams. He could hear the sirens outside, and the hoses present. He knew though that they wouldn't get to them in time.

He shook Jeremy a little. "J-Jere? You still good?" The smaller boy was limp in his arms, but he felt a small nod, and a small cough. Then a shaky hand was put up, pointing towards the hall that was filled with smoke. "Th-There?"

He felt another small nod, then started making his way towards that hallway, weary of smoke. His eyes were watery, and his throat stung. His arms were shaky, and he feared he would accidentally drop Jeremy. 

But, he knew he'd rather die than Jeremy die.

He powered through, making sure Jeremy didn't inhale anymore smoke than he already should. The orange glow was getting brighter in the new hallway, and he knew the fire was catching up to them.

Thankfully, at the end of the hall was a window, and Michael used all of the energy he had left to sprint towards it.

"I-It's gonna be okay, Jere. Okay? It's gonna be just fine." He murmured softly to Jeremy, who seemed to be lifeless. "Jere?! Are you still alive?" Michael felt panic start to settle in. "Oh,  _please, please, please_ don't be dead. I swear to God, Jere." Without a second more, he jumped through the window, keeping Jeremy a centered as he could so Jeremy would have a softer landing.

Michael landed right on his back, and Jeremy landed right on top of him. Needless to say, what very little air that was left in his lungs was knocked out. He held Jeremy close still, scared to let him go.

"H-HELP!" He called out, fighting to keep his eyes open. He desperately wanted to close his eyes and sleep. So, when he saw the firemen rushing towards them -- he did.

 


	2. But You Could Be Scarier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They made it out alive, whew...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This seemed to take longer than the last chapter

When Jeremy woke up, the first thing he noticed was that his throat ached tremendously. His eyes burned, and it hurt slightly to breathe.

He had managed to crack his eyes open just slightly to realize that he was in a hospital room. On the other side of the room, was a small secluded corner, which most likely held another patient. He observed the rest of the room. The small rays of sunlight that managed to get past the window blinds. The small bouquet of flowers and cards at the end of his bed. He noticed that there was a body next to him, too. His heart started to beat as he turned his head slightly to face the person beside him. Was it--

It was his dad.

To be honest, Jeremy wasn't really expecting anyone else to come see him, but he did have hopes that a certain person would.

Jeremy sighed as he reached out to his father, tapping him on the shoulder slightly. His dad's head perked up quickly, and he met Jeremy's eyes, a small relieving smile spreading across his face.

"Hey, soldier. How are you feeling?" His father got up and stretched. Jeremy smiled.

He opened his mouth to speak, but didn't. His eyes were focused on the light blue suit pants his father had on.

Mr. Heere must have noticed, and smiled somewhat-sheepishly. "Hah, yeah... Michael convinced me to."

 _Michael convinced you to._ Jeremy repeated slowly in his mind, nodding.

"Anyways! I'm uh, I'm gonna go get the nurse so she could... do her stuff?" He chuckled slightly as he made his way towards the exit before he paused. He turned around a planted a small kiss to Jeremy's forehead, then ruffled his hair. "Love ya, son. Glad you're finally awake!" He smiled once more, then exited to get the nurse.

Jeremy sat there, not really knowing what to do. His dad was wearing pants, he's in a hospital, and... the Squip is gone.

The Squip's gone! But... how?

He looked around the room for a moment, then paused.

Suddenly, the memories of the last night came flooding through.

The Squip, the bathroom, Michael, the fire. All of it.

Then he felt sick. He wanted to puke.

All the guilt, sadness, anger, and anxiety pooled in his stomach all at once, which did not help his nausea.

He remembered the thing with Chloe and Jake. He remembered hiding in the bathroom. He remembered Michael hiding in the bathroom with him. He remembered... the fight. He remembered abandoning him (as much as he didn't want to). He remembered the fire. He remembered begging Michael to get out, to no avail. But then he also remembered choking, then passing out.

He doesn't remember getting here. He doesn't even remember how he got out of the fire. He doesn't even remember what happened to Michael.

He quickly sat up straight, which in turn made him a little dizzy, but he fought against it. He swung his legs over the side, ready to go find his father. Just then the door opened, and in crept a man with a red hoodie.

Michael.

Jeremy froze. Yes, he was super happy he was alive and healthy. He probably would have done something rather stupid if something had happened to his (ex?) best friend. Yet, that didn't mean he knew what he was going to say to him the next time they met.

Michael looked tired. Bags underneath his eyes, his hair was ruffled more than normal, and... he didn't have any glasses. Which was odd, to say the least. Michael had hated contacts, he said so anytime someone asked him about them. He'd always complain about how itchy and uncomfortable they were. He had his headphones in, probably on full blast, listening to some random Marley song.

When Michael walked into the room, he kept his eyes on the floor, not looking up. He doesn't seem to be aware of Jeremy's consciousness just yet. He plopped down on the chair next to Jeremy's bed where his father used to be. Running a hand through his unkempt hair, Michael sighs a deep sigh. It's filled with sadness and exhaustion, one of the worst sighs.

Michael seems to be frozen, he'd stayed with a hand in his hair for about a minute. Then, he finally looked up to meet Jeremy's eyes.

He jolted, quickly taking his headphones off his ears, in favor of slinging them around his neck. His eyes were wide, and his mouth hung open slightly.

"J-Jere?" His voice was hoarse, and it was soft at the same time. "Y-You're awake!" Michael nervously pushed his chair back, only a smidge.

Jeremy nodded silently, climbing slowly back into his bed. Michael looked about as uncomfortable and nervous as he felt. Jeremy opened his mouth to speak, but Michael stopped him.

"Don't try to uh -- Don't try to talk. It'll hurt. I learned the hard way." He chuckled an unhappy laugh, and looked down, not meeting Jeremy's eyes.

Jeremy was confused, but he listened anyways. His throat already did feel a little scratchy from not talking, so he didn't try to.

Michael was fidgeting in his seat, playing with his headphones' cord. "Um... How are you feeling?" He looked up, looking at Jeremy. Jeremy smiled halfheartedly; he waited for Michael to get it. "Oh! Oh, right. Well, um," he handed Jeremy his phone, which had a text box open on their last message conversation. It made Jeremy's heart hurt when he realized it had been about two months since then. "Just type on that I suppose." Michael scratched the back of his neck, eyes once again not meeting Jeremy's.

Jeremy typed in the box slowly.'

\-- im feeling okay. a lil dizzy but okay --

He handed the phone back to Michael, who read over the text quickly.

"That's good, hopefully you won't have to stay here much longer." Michael had a small-but-still-there grin on his face. Handing the phone back to Jeremy, he asked, "I-Is the... Is the Squip still there?" His smile faded as he asked the question, and he looked a little afraid of what Jeremy might say.

\-- Nope! thank god... what happened? --

Jeremy smiled, quite happy it had disappeared.

Michael took the phone and read over the text. "It worked, then." He whispered to himself, and a wider grin was spreading across his face. It seemed to be much happier than he had been. "Oh, um... What do you want to know about? The Squip or the fire?" His voice had cracked a little when he said "Squip", but he powered through.

\-- the fire? --

"Uh, well... Rich had set a fire trying to do something with his Squip. Like, screw it up or kill it or something. He had eventually just set Jake's whole house on fire." He paused. "Th-Then uh, when you had been knocking on the door yelling 'fire' I had thought it was a stupid prank. So when I opened the door to accept my fate, I didn't expect you to be dying on the floor in front of me while there were flames everywhere." His voice quieted, and he seemed to now be very fixed on the blanket in front of him. "So, I uh, picked you up and ran towards the exit." He paused again. "We got out, clearly. But you had inhaled a lot of smoke and gunk."

Jeremy made grabby hands towards the phone. When he got it, he quickly typed out a question.

\-- are you ok?? --

"Me? Oh, yeah. Only some minor cuts and only a little smoke." He subconsciously rubbed his left arm. Jeremy made sure to frown. Michael just smiled slightly, "I jumped out of a window." He looked back up at Jeremy and giggled. "You, though. Oh, you had us all worried sick."

\-- how?? --

"You had insane smoke inhalation, like, so much. And then you had passed out on me, so I was frantically trying to find an exit before you had pointed to window." His smile faded once more, "You were out for two days." He sighed again, this one less sad, though.

"Oh." Jeremy accidentally let that slip out, and that was a mistake. His throat ached more, and his eyes even started to water. Michael must have seen the pain in his eyes because he had chuckled softly.

"Told ya!" Michael shot finger guns at him, while Jeremy just rolled his eyes. Jeremy didn't bother to try and hold back the small grin tracing his lips.

"Michael? Are you talking to Jeremy again?" A familiar voice filled the room. It seemed to be coming from the back corner. "Becauth I thwear to God, Michael. Thome people need their beauty thleep, here."

Michael let out a small laugh. "He's awake this time, Rich."

_Rich?_

"Wait, really!?" The shorter boy behind the curtain seemed ecstatic. "What're you waiting for? Open my curtain, I wanna thee how he'th doing!"

Jeremy grinned widely as Michael sighed happily and went up to open Rich's curtain. The boy was in a full body cast, and had a small teddy bear under his right arm. He grinned widely at Michael.

"Thankth, Mikey!" Rich exclaimed, and Jeremy could've sworn he saw Michael blush a little bit. Then, Rich's focus was on Jeremy. "Jeremy! What'th up?!"

 Jeremy smiled softly at the boy, but only waved. He didn't really feel like attempting to talk anymore. Thankfully, Michael butted in.

"He can't talk right now, Rich. His throat's still healing and all." He waved his hand for emphasis.

Rich thought about it for a moment. "Wait, then how were you talking to him?"

Jeremy decided he'd wave the phone up to show Rich Michael's phone, but it slipped. It ended up falling off the bed and onto the floor.

Michael saw the action and went to pick up the phone, only to see that the screen was shattered. He sighed again. "Welp, there goes our only way of communication."

Rich just started laughing. "That'th unfortunate, Mike, oh my god..." 

Jeremy paled slightly, he wanted to apologize, but he feared the pain that might come. Michael looked back at Jeremy, who had a worried expression on his face. Michael only offered him a small smile.

"Hey, it's okay, Jere. We all make mistakes."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lowkey hate this whole fic lol


	3. He'd Had Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A discussion. A rather important one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was I planning a third chapter? No. Did it end up happening anyways because I have no self control? Yes.

It had been a week since Jeremy was discharged from the hospital.

The Squip was gone. Jeremy was able to speak again. Rich was also out of the hospital. Christine still had her chance to pursue theatre. Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna still kept their titles as the three most popular girls in school. Jake was out of his casts in two weeks. Jeremy had gained friends, and still managed to keep the friend he treasured the most.

Life was good.

Well...

Life was... decent.

It was as good as life could be when there was always this paranoia in the air about your best friend of 12 years hating you.

There was still a thick tension whenever they were alone together. They both knew it, but neither spoke of it. The giant elephant in the room, the big obstacle blocking their way from actual peace. Yet, it was never spoke of.

...

Jeremy wanted to. He really, _really_ wanted to. He couldn't help but fret and worry over Michael when he didn't text Jeremy back. He hated the way Michael tensed slightly whenever Jeremy entered the room. He didn't like the awkward silences between them, or when Michael seemed too afraid to look Jeremy in the eyes. He greatly hated the fact that Michael seemed so fragile and quiet nowadays. He just seemed... not like himself.

He missed the Michael he knew before the stupid tic-tac. He missed the jokes. The laughing. The sushi trips. The slushies. The random philosophical moments while high. The video games. The happiness. He missed Michael's genuine smile and laugh. The snarky comments he'd pull ever so often. He missed all of what he and Michael had built over the 12 years they had been best friends.

Which he had ruined.

Jeremy couldn't get over the fact that he had ruined all of this with just six seemingly pointless words.

Then, one day, he'd finally had enough.

Him and Michael were trying to regain all the trust and comfortableness with each other by doing what they usually did -- playing video games. Except, it just felt... off. The way Michael would always seem to flinch every time Jeremy raised his voice to warn him about a zombie. Or how each time Michael seemed to think Jeremy wasn't paying attention to him, he'd always have a sad, faraway look in his eyes.

Jeremy paused the game abruptly, then did a full 180 to face Michael. He gulped as Michael looked at him in confusion, but he was determined. "We need to talk," he said simply.

Michael tilted his head more in confusion. "About?"

Jeremy suddenly wouldn't meet his eyes. His voice was quiet, "Do you... Do you hate me?"

Michael gasped, then hugged Jeremy close, "Never." He clung tighter, squeezing Jeremy tightly. "Never, ever, ever, or ever."

He buried his head in Jeremy's shoulder. "Why would you ever think I would?"

Jeremy chuckled non-humorously. "Oh, I dunno. The fact that I sort, kinda, got a supercomputer and basically ruined our 12 year friendship over the course of a few minutes?"

There was silence, then Michael squeaking out a small, "oh." He then pulled out of the hug, looking Jeremy in the eyes. He sighed. 

"Mike... I'm sorry." Jeremy looked down at his hands, which were fiddling with each other on his lap. He fought back tears. "I just... I was a dumbass and thought that I needed to be popular to be happy, and I thought I needed to actually just... more than survive." He paused, took a small breath, and continued, "I just... Felt so useless, y'know? I guess I realized that I'd never be the cool person, the hero, or whatever. I'd just be the loser nobody cared about. And I just... Really, really wanted someone to actually acknowledge my existence other than you or dad." 

He sniffled, trying to rub away his tears with the sleeve of his cardigan. Staring at his hands, still fiddling in his lap, he laughed bitterly. "I was just too much of an idiot to realize that I only ever really needed you guys anyways."

There was a long silence, other than Jeremy's frequent sniffles. Well, it was probably about thirty seconds, but it seemed to last ages. That is, until Michael decided to speak first.

His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. "You weren't the only one, bud." Michael sighed, pushing his glasses up to rub at his damp eyes. "Everyone in highschool felt... Feels that way." He looked at Jeremy with a faint, exhausted smile. "You just had enough, I suppose. And I am... Impressed, in a way. You did something not many people would do. Grant it, it was a terrible decision, and you fucked up majorly, but... you learned from it."

Michael pulled Jeremy into another hug, and whispered into his ear: "I forgive you, Jere. Just know that I would never, and could never, hate you for anything. One of the only reasons I didn't give up on you, is because I know you." He pulled back and smiled. "You're Jeremy Heere. The funniest, kindest, most caring, dumbass I know. I knew you'd come around eventually."

Jeremy was crying. Scratch that, he was sobbing. He tried to choke back the ugly sounds that ripped through his throat, to no avail. His vision was cloudy with wet tears.

He couldn't understand.

How could Michael have forgiven him? He sure as hell hadn't even forgiven himself yet.

And, if Michael had forgiven him, why were they so awkward?

"B-But... Why do you still a-act all... W-Weird around me?" He managed to get out between sobs and sniffles. He looked at Michael as best he could with his tear-clouded vision.

Michael sighed a heavy sigh. It was filled with exhaustion, sadness, irritation, but also with a tinge of hope.

"I forgave you, Jere. I just... how forgotten what you've done, and it... still stings." He made eye contact with the crying boy in front of him. "I don't think things will go back perfectly any time soon, hell, maybe ever. But Jeremy, I know that if we could make it through a supercomputer that tried to take over the whole world, I think we could make it through a little awkwardness for a while." He have a small smile. It was soft, warm, and comforting.

It gave Jeremy hope.

It gave him hope that one day, they could both live peacefully again. That things could go back to the way things were, that it wasn't completely hopeless after all.

Jeremy have a watery smile back, mouthing a small 'okay' to Michael, before letting out the biggest sob so far.

Jeremy hugged Michael, more like clung to him, as he sobbed and apologized profusely. Meanwhile Michael patting his back and reassuring him over and over.

Eventually, they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> I underestimated how long this fic would take but it took me like a good three days oof


End file.
